He expected the familiar part, and the gay part, but the rest is a surprise. The childhood comment makes him slightly uncomfortable, though it's not because he's thinking about the whole victim/pity thing, it's because he views his 'childhood' as the time before Yifu, and it's a time that Yifu always acted as though he should be ashamed of, that he should be trying to put that behind him.
It's strange to think all that effort was for nothing, that it's written on his soul for anyone to see. Well. Anyone who could see.
The people he's killed is unexpected but he thinks it makes sense - if they can pick up what Kevin and the others have saved, of course it would show what he's destroyed, especially when assassination was such a big part of who he was for so long.
Then she calls him a survivor, and it feels right. He's strangely proud to have that be something that can be read on him. No matter what the world has tried to throw at him, he's found a way through.
He can't quite place why it means so much to hear it, until it suddenly hits him - it's the opposite of what Yifu always tried to tell him; he was nothing without Yifu, he was helpless and spoiled and lucky to have Yifu's support and guidance. He'd fall apart without him. Well, fuck that. He's stronger and tougher and better than all of that.
"Well." He says after a moment "Some of us have to rely on ourselves. We can't all be blessed by gods." He did ask to cause a distraction, but now he'd quite like that attention back off of him, sorry Kevin.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-11-07 04:40 pm (UTC)He expected the familiar part, and the gay part, but the rest is a surprise. The childhood comment makes him slightly uncomfortable, though it's not because he's thinking about the whole victim/pity thing, it's because he views his 'childhood' as the time before Yifu, and it's a time that Yifu always acted as though he should be ashamed of, that he should be trying to put that behind him.
It's strange to think all that effort was for nothing, that it's written on his soul for anyone to see. Well. Anyone who could see.
The people he's killed is unexpected but he thinks it makes sense - if they can pick up what Kevin and the others have saved, of course it would show what he's destroyed, especially when assassination was such a big part of who he was for so long.
Then she calls him a survivor, and it feels right. He's strangely proud to have that be something that can be read on him. No matter what the world has tried to throw at him, he's found a way through.
He can't quite place why it means so much to hear it, until it suddenly hits him - it's the opposite of what Yifu always tried to tell him; he was nothing without Yifu, he was helpless and spoiled and lucky to have Yifu's support and guidance. He'd fall apart without him. Well, fuck that. He's stronger and tougher and better than all of that.
"Well." He says after a moment "Some of us have to rely on ourselves. We can't all be blessed by gods." He did ask to cause a distraction, but now he'd quite like that attention back off of him, sorry Kevin.