It's been a long day without you, my friend (Wen Yuan and Wei Ying)

[notaturnip]

In his dreams, Yuan remembers.

He dreams of kind faces, playful teasing and being buried in the radish patch. He dreams of being poor but happy, of people who love him, of a cousin who shares soup and a visiting man in blue who buys him paper butterflies. He dreams of a life he barely recalls when he's awake.

When he's awake, he doesn't want to remember, because it's hard to think of paper butterflies and people who love you when you're just trying to get through the day - and the night.

It's only been a few months since the Madame of the Golden Hare saw his face and encouraged him to swap begging for something more profitable - he'd been reluctant at first, but two miserable, hungry nights in the rain later he decided he really would do anything for a good meal and a night in a warm bed.

At first, he really had appreciated it - he'd been given a bath, combed his hair for the first time in months (or more), eaten well and slept. The next day Madame gave him fine robes and he finally felt like a human being.

The feeling hadn't lasted, of course it hadn't. Madame's offer had been the essence of be careful what you wish for...

The day everything changes, Yuan wakes the same as he always does, he breakfasts with the other boys and girls of the house as usual, and the only hint that anything is going to be different is the briefest of conversations over the breakfast table.

"Ay, Yuan, is it true your surname's Wen?"

No matter how many years have passed since the Sunshot campaign and still he has to be careful about letting that information get out. He hates it. He was just a child at the time, how can anybody hold a grudge against him just because he is, however distantly, related to the Qishan Wen sect?

"Who told you that?" he answers with a question of his own.

"Doesn't matter, is it true?"

"Of course it is, or he would have just said no!"

"I want to hear hi-"

"Enough." Madame interrupts in a firm tone and Yuan feels himself breathe a sigh of relief. He knows that probably won't be the end of it, but it's the end for now, and that's enough. They all fall silent as they continue their meal, though some of the others still shoot furtive glances his way, which he ignores.

He doesn't think anything of the servants who had overheard the conversation as well, or the way they might gossip amongst themselves, the way that gossip might travel through people until, that afternoon, two men in a wine house across town happen to share a crucial piece of information out loud, where just anyone might overhear-

"I heard the new boy over at the Golden Hare is a Wen"

Comments

[createschaos]

They weren't out on some mission, far from it. Wei Ying visited wine houses all the time, sometimes with Lan Zhan and sometimes without. This? It was one of the times that it was without his soulmate. Besides, his husband was off being chief cultivator. He was going to go drag Lan Xichen out of seclusion himself, at this rate. Just so he could have Lan Zhan by his side.

He does, however, over hear that the Golden Hare had a new boy. One that was a Wen. It makes his heart skip a few beats. There was one young boy that he would always be reminded of. One that he had seen like his own son. Then the war had happened and so had... well, things he didn't want to think about.

So, he downs his wine and pays for it before heading out with every intention of going to the Golden Hare. If there was even a chance... A way to bring home the only child that meant anything to him. To Lan Zhan. Then he would fight to do just that.

[notaturnip]

Afternoons are, perhaps, one of Yuan's favourite times of day, which is strange in some ways because they always come with them the potential to be ruined, but perhaps that's what makes them so pleasant when they aren't. Madame likes them all to be in during the afternoon, to be downstairs in the room that presented itself more like a parlour or wine house, waiting for custom to come in - but, of course, in the afternoons it so rarely did. Which meant instead of the usual business of the Golden Hare, instead of feigning interest in dull men or taking them to his bed, Yuan could enjoy the comfort and quiet of a pleasant afternoon and pretend, for just a little, that he was anywhere other than where he was.

Especially since he had convinced Madame that music would improve the atmosphere and draw more customers in, and talked her into getting him both a quqin to play and a teacher to show him how (it was shooting himself in the foot, in the long run, because of course Madame took a cut for all his expenses, and lessons and instruments only made that cut larger, but it was a small price to play for his own pleasure rather than somebody else's) - he was by no means an expert, he'd only been learning for about a month, but he could play a tune or two and in the afternoons he was allowed to practice.

This afternoon it's warm enough that he's taken the instrument outside, where he can play to attract customers without being too much of an annoyance to those inside.

[createschaos]

He doesn't run. Has to force himself to keep at a reasonable pace, even if all he wanted to do was run. Lil' Apple wouldn't have been too happy about that. Not that the donkey was happy about much. As long as it had good grass and fresh apples, it was fine. However, he hears the familiar sound of a guqin. It's not as good as when Lan Zhan plays it, but it's there. It causes his heart to ache that much more.

When he does come upon the boy sitting outside with the instrument, he stops short. Doesn't even realize that he's gripping his dizi hard enough to hurt. That Chenqing is probably being fed blood with how hard he's holding the ghost flute. He feels like his whole world was being turned sideways on its axis. That he was being crushed under the lotus lake back in Lotus Pier. That Zidian was cracking down and trying to rip him apart.

Everything turns to ice and he can't breathe under it," Yuan?" That wasn't, it couldn't be. Except that deep down he knows it is.

[notaturnip]

His head jerks up at the sound of his name and then his fingers are stuttering to a stop on the strings because the man currently staring at him looks so familiar and it's absolutely not in the unpleasant way that people on the street sometimes do. There's something about him that makes Yuan feel like he's dreaming, and he doesn't understand that at all.

It throws him off enough that he doesn't even remember to stand and bow respectfully, to invite him inside like Madame would expect him to do with anybody speaking to him, instead he just stares for a long moment and tries to make that aching familiarity make sense.

"Have we... met?" He asks slowly, brow furrowing a little in concentration.

[createschaos]

There was no way in hell that the demonic cultivator would have allowed this precious boy to bow to him anyway. Not when this was his kid. This was... heartache is what it was. Someone might as well have taken Bichen, Sandu, and Suibian, and shoved them straight through him. In his heart and in his gut. Ripped him apart so wholly and physically.

Or maybe this was a trick of the Burial Mounds. That was doable too. Right? Even if he knows that he can't lie to himself. He can lie to the rest of the world, but not to himself. Even if those three words hurt. They rip him apart inside.

"You're my A-Yuan, my little radish. Of course, we've met. You were just real little then, no more than three."

[notaturnip]

Yuan stares at him for a moment longer before his eyes suddenly widen with understanding. He feels like he's dreaming because that's where he's seen that face before - waiting for him every night when he closes his eyes. He had never been sure, really, whether they were memories or just the fevered imagination of a little boy with nobody there to care about him, but here was the man he'd known as his father, standing in the flesh right in front of him.

He feels his eyes tear up and he swallows heavily, he opens his mouth to speak but no words come out because he doesn't know what to say. He gets up from behind the quqin and rushes down the steps towards him, but he stops himself before he does what he really wants, which is to throw his arms around the man and never let go. Instead he just stares at his face, like he can hardly believe it's real.

"...I.... I thought.... I thought everybody was gone... I thought you were gone."

[createschaos]

It doesn't matter if Yuan stops himself short, Wei Ying doesn't. He moves over the moment he's close enough and encompasses the boy into his arms, in a nice tight hug. If anyone said a word then he wouldn't hesitate to cut them down. No one was going to keep him from his boy. He feels like his heart stops.

"Lan Zhan told me he went back, but you were nowhere to be found." That? It had hurt him and his husband both. Then again, so had the 16 years that he, himself, had been dead. So much had happened. Far too much and it hurt.

"For 16 years, I was... but not in the manner you think," he states softly. "The story, itself, is a lot to take in." He's quiet for a moment," Lan Zhan will be happy that you were found. That's where you were meant to be this whole time. In Gusu, not out here."

[notaturnip]

As soon as his father's arms are around him, Yuan loses what remains of his composure - he clings to him almost desperately, burying his face in the older man's shoulder to hide his tears.

Lan Zhan... it takes him a moment to place the name, but then his mind supplies the details, pale blue robes and paper butterflies, just like his dreams. He honestly doesn't remember enough to know why he wasn't there when the man came looking, but the idea that he missed it, that he could have been brought up in Gusu, with the Lan sect... it makes his heart ache to know how close he came to escaping everything he's been through.

Not out here....

Here.

The shame crashes over him in an instant. He's dreamed about this moment, he has, the idea that he still has family who might come and take him away, but he never thought he would happen, he never thought he would have to look his father in the eye and admit how he has been making a living.

So he doesn't, he just clings to him and hopes he can delay the inevitable.

[createschaos]

Those arms tighten around him and he doesn't care who sees, who doesn't. They can walk right past. It wouldn't, however, surprise him if Yuan didn't really remember Lan Zhan. His husband had only visited the Burial Mound once or twice, even he has problems remembering that. Some of his mind was messed up due to his death. Returning from death.

He does, however, remember teasing Yuan with the paper butterflies because his boy acted like he liked Lan Zhan better. His little radish had been the light of his life. The light of all Wens in the Burial Mounds, really, but the light of his. It had been nice having a child there. Something that kept him from getting too lose in his work.

"I'm taking you home."

He didn't care where his kid lived, what he did for a living, or any of it. Yuan was coming home even if he had to deal with a another death to make it happen.

[notaturnip]

Yuan finally pulls away, at that, and for a moment he still can't speak. He does cast one glance back at the Golden Hare, where at least one curious young woman is watching them from the doorway, and he's willing to bet one or more others are already going to find Madame and tell her that Yuan is doing something weird.

"I...can't..." he says, the crushing reluctance evident in his voice. Madame will never let him leave, he's barely worked back the slightest dent of his debt to her, and that's not even taking into account the shame. He thinks his father must not have realised what this place is, because of course he doesn't realise, yet, that Wei Wuxian doesn't care, because all his experience has indicated that he should be ashamed of Yuan for this.

[createschaos]

Wei Ying doesn't care about that young woman or anyone else that shows up in the doorway of the Golden Hare. Let the Madame show her face and watch her regret coming anywhere near him and his son.

"I'm not giving you a choice, little radish," he states simply. "And if anyone tries to stop it from happening, they'll regret coming anywhere near you." Oh, Wei Ying realized exactly what the Golden Hare was. Knows what goes on in those places and it makes his blood boil.

Chenqing is twirled in his hand slightly and he brushes fingers through his son's hair. "Grab your guqin. Everything else you need will be in Cloud Recesses." And if the Madame gives him any trouble, or there's trouble he doesn't take care of, then Lan Zhan will deal with it. And they don't want to deal with Hanguang-Jun.

[notaturnip]

Yuan is startled by the certainty of his tone, his protectiveness - he's startled by all of this, in truth, and the idea that his father is here, in the flesh, that they're going to Cloud Recesses of all places, is almost overwhelming enough to make him faint. How is he supposed to respond to something like that?

That's the point where the Madame shows up, enough has been said that she's aware somebody is trying to take Yuan away, and of course she's not about to let that happen. She glides serenely down the steps to them with a polite smile fixed on her face.

"Excuse me," she says, bowing respectfully, though there's steel in her gaze as she straightens up "I'm afraid I can't let you take Yuan away."

[createschaos]

The certainty wasn't going to go away. This was his kid and they were leaving. It was really that simple. Though, he does give a bit of a smirk when the Madame comes down those steps. Oh, she reminds him of Jin Guangyao in many ways. Trying to be respectful, but be a bitch at the same time.

"Lan Sizhui is coming home," he states wrapping an arm around his son's shoulders, keeping Yuan close to him. That steel gaze does absolutely nothing to him or for him. The Yiling Patriarch wasn't scared of some woman who thought she was all of that.

"So, you can step away. My son is coming with me. And if you have problems with that, you can take it up with Hanguang-Jun. I'm sure he'd like to know that you want to keep his son from him too. Actually," he says, grey eyes watching the woman before him. He gives a soft whistle. Yuan might not remember what that whistle can do, but he, himself, has been villanized enough.

He gives a soft smile, almost nice," You actually think you're going to keep the boy to yourself? I don't care what debt he has to you. Because there's no debt any of these kids have."

He could feel the resentful energy trying to wrap around him like a warm blanket, but it wouldn't hurt his Yuan. Never his little radish.

[notaturnip]

Lan Sizhui. It takes Yuan a moment to realise that means him. Him. A Lan.

Hanguang-Jun, too, is a name he knows, knows enough about the great cultivation sects and their reputations to have heard of him, he hadn't made the connection when his father referred to him as Lan Zhan, but now all the pieces fall into place and he realises exactly what's going on and who his father is. He feels stupid for not fully realising sooner, but in his defence he'd been very young the last time he saw the man.

"This boy owes-" she begins, even despite the obvious fear in her eyes at the mention of Hanguang-Jun, but the whistle stops her short and her face pales. She takes a step back, as though distance might help her, and opens her mouth to try a different argument.

She clearly can't think of anything, so instead she bows, tries a more obsequious expression.

"I brought him in from the streets, I've kept him safe...but of... of course he should be with his family..." She's smart enough to see there's no way he's not taking Yuan away, but she's hoping to spin it that she's done something good for the boy, to try and soothe his wrath.

[createschaos]

"This boy has a name that you will learn to use and use properly," Wei Ying states with narrowed eyes. He wouldn't have this woman disrespecting his son, not like that. She had no respect as far as he was concerned. Oh, he sees that fear. He cares nothing about that fear. Her argument, however, falls on deaf ears.

"You mean you stole him from the streets," he states simply. No argument of hers would appease him. "Little radish, grab your guqin. I'm sure your diedie would rather you learn from him anyway," he states.

There's almost a wicked smirk that graces Wei Ying's lips," I hope you enjoy your visits later, Madame. Oh, and do make sure these children are in good homes. You have until dawn tomorrow before you end up dealing with all of Gusu Lan."

[notaturnip]

"...yes baba." Yuan is still a little in shock, actually he's still a lot in shock, but it's a simple command that he can manage to follow, so he moves from his father's side to go and grab the instrument. The rest of the boys and girls of the house have all gathered in the doorway now, staring at the scene unfolding before them.

"But Madame bought-" one of them starts, cutting off as another slaps her hand over his mouth.

"Do you think he cares?" she hisses, gaze flicking over to Wei Wuxian, her expression a mix of terrified and impressed. None of the others seem to know how to deal with what's going on any better than Yuan does, though they exchange glances at the comment about good homes, hardly daring to hope.

"But- I-" Madame is trying to babble out any kind of response or plea as Yuan returns to his father's side, guqin clutched in his arms, but after a moment she falls silent and bows.

"Yes, of course."

She'll try and weasel her way out of it, of course she will, but she'll play nice while he's still standing there.

[createschaos]

His arm wraps around his son's shoulders the moment that Yuan is back at his side. Though, he isn't as stupid as the Madame thinks he is. He knows people like her. A certain Jin thought he was slick too, but he wasn't. Jin Guangyao never would be. Neither would this woman.

"Don't think I came alone."

Whether he was bluffing or not was a whole other story. He could mean anything from another Sect or the undead, or anything else altogether.

"What I care about is the safety of those kids. Your safety is of no consequence," he states simply. "Are you ready, little radish? Nothing else you need to grab?"

[notaturnip]

The flash of terror in her eyes was immediate and obvious. Someone who actually knew Wei Wuxian might be unsure if he was bluffing or not, but she only knew the stories, his reputation - the threat of being watched is more than strong enough for her to nod and back away, bowing. She would do what he asked.

Yuan feels uneasy, watching her fear - it's not that she doesn't deserve it, and he's glad that the others of the house might get a chance to escape this life as well, but it's just... hard, in some ways, to reconcile this intimidating figure with the man he dreamt about who buried him in the radish patch. The arm around him, though, is sure and steady, and as terrifying as his father might be, Yuan knew as an absolute certainty that he was doing it to protect him, so he allows that certainty to soothe his unease.

"Nothing else." he confirms - the only other clothing and personal items he had were all given to him by madame, and he wants to take as little as possible from this place. He didn't have anything else of his own.

[createschaos]

It's terror he's seen before. Though, that had been in people that deserved the fear. Not that he didn't think this woman didn't deserve it. She used these children for her own gain. Wei Ying had a soft spot for children.

He does, however, lead his son away from the Golden Hare. If the woman owed these children anything, coin or otherwise, they'd get it. He wouldn't allow anyone to be cheated of it. But the further away they got, the better. All he knew? Was that he was glad he'd found Yuan.

Once they're far enough away, he kisses the top of his son's head," No harm will come to her. Though, once Gusu Lan gets involved it's out of my hands." It was more of a reassurance to Sizhui than anything else. "There is a lot to tell you," he states softly. Once they're close enough to Lil' Apple, he puts his son up on the donkey's back, keeping close.

"I wish I'd been around to find you sooner."

[notaturnip]

Yuan knows, technically, that she doesn't deserve his pity, but as much as her gifts came with strings attached - so many strings - she had, in her way, taken him off the streets and given him a place to live. It was a complicated feeling. He's still sort of glad that she won't be harmed.

He's mostly glad for the others. He hopes she finds them better places like his father asked. Perhaps if she tries to get out of it, he might have less sympathy.

Mostly, he'd rather just not know. He'd rather turn his back and try and forget he was ever there. He doesn't know if that's the right or wrong thing to do, he doesn't know if he'll be able to, but he knows it's what he wants.

He feels tired, somehow, despite the fact he's barely done anything - maybe it's just the rush of adrenaline from the whole situation beginning to wear off - so he's grateful to sit on the donkey, one hand steadying himself on the animal's neck, the other still wrapped tightly around his guqin.

"I'm sorry..." he says softly "I'm sorry I wasn't there when he came looking..."

[createschaos]

That woman didn't deserve anyone's pity, much less his son's. Not that anyone could tell his precious Yuan how to feel. The boy had been through far too much as it was. However, her trying to argue that she'd done something good didn't sit right with him. No, doing something good would have been a roof over his head and food in his belly. There should've been no stipulations to it. Even a proper education.

He, unfortunately, knows that he shouldn't even think about that. Not when he knows how upset it will make him. The last thing he needs is the voices in his head egging him on, telling him that the world would be better off without her. Or maybe he'd talk to Lan Zhan. Set up some type of orphanage or something. That way children that got stuck in situations like that had a safe place to go. They wouldn't have to worry over something shady like the Golden Hare.

He does, however, reach up and gently take the guqin from Yuan and places it in the Qiankun pouch, then back on the side of the donkey's harness. The pouch held quite a bit. "We won't get to Cloud Recesses in one night, so we'll stop in the next town over. Get you a fresh set of clothes and anything else you want, and I'll send a butterfly off to Lan Zhan."

"Shh... none of that, little radish. I'm just glad we've finally got you back."

[notaturnip]

Yuan nods, drawing his loose hanfu tighter around himself with self-conscious hands. He doesn't know what to make of any of this, but it's hard not to blame himself somehow, not to think he should have waited longer, or remembered better, should have done something to find them before now, before he...

But what could he have done? Even if he'd remembered Wei Wuxian, how would he have known where to turn? He'd had no allies left, in the end, that was what the rumours said, and even if he had, how was he supposed to find them as a child, alone in the world? Some part of him knew he hadn't done anything wrong, but the rest of him is struggling to accept it.

"Baba..." he says slowly, he needs to have this conversation, he can't just let himself worry about "You know... what that place was... what I did there..."

[createschaos]

His little radish had been three, he wouldn't have expected him to know who to wait for. Considering where they'd been living he's surprised that he even survived that place. The Burial Mounds had been hell even for himself, much less for the old Wens and then little Yuan.

Besides, when Wen Chao had tossed him into the Burial Mounds, he'd done far worse to survive. A brothel was nothing compared to some of the things that he'd had to do. Things that still threatened him in his nightmares.

He keeps a tight hold on Lil' Apple's reigns and gives a slight hum," I know exactly what that place was, little radish. The only thing that matters to this one and to your diedie is that you've survived. What you had to do is of no consequence. We will have to put a bit more meat on your bones, though."

[notaturnip]

He feels his shoulders sag slightly with the relief of it, could it really be possible? Does he actually not care at all? His father doesn't strike him as someone who would say that without meaning it, so it must be true, it must be...

"Are...are you sure Hanguang Jun will feel the same?" By all accounts the man was perfect in every way, including being a shining example of the Lan clan principles, which Yuan knew nothing about other than the fact they were supposedly very strict and very proper. Could he really accept a son who had been disgraced in such a way? Bring him into Cloud Recesses itself?

The idea that his father might take him back only for Hanguang Jun to reject him is one that Yuan knows he's going to worry about until they get there, so he needs all the reassurance he can get.

[createschaos]

Wei Ying would not tell his son one thing and mean another. That wasn't how the Yiling Patriarch worked. It also wasn't how Hanguang-Jun worked. Though, hearing that question he stops Apple who isn't too happy about being stopped. He appeases her with an actual apple, those grey eyes looking towards Sizhui.

"Little radish, he wants you home as much as I do. Do you honestly think that he would turn you away? That man loves you as much as I do." There was no ifs, ands, or buts about that. Yes, the Lan were a Sect of people who had principles. Wei Ying has lost count of how many of their rules he's broken. Not that Lan Zhan cares. Not after him being dead for 16 years.

A soft smile," I'm sure Lan Zhan would disown me if I didn't bring you home. And I'm sure that it is hard to disown one's husband, but he'd figure a way to do it."