I Solemnly Swear I'm Up To No Good (Dick and Clark)

[justlikeacircus]

It is very, very difficult to sneak around in a house containing a man with super hearing. Translation; It was impossible to sneak around in a house containing a man with superhearing, as Dick had discovered repeatedly on increasingly ingenious cookie-stealing kitchen missions. There really was no way to do it without Clark catching you.

It is, however, much easier to do said sneaking when the house didn't contain aforementioned owner of super hearing, which is why Dick would engage in his little extra-curricular activities only on days when Clark was away on 'business trips', preferably ones that took him far away from Metropolis.

Today was one of those days, or it had been one of those days, until he'd caught a glimpse of Superman in the sky over the city.

"Oh crap. Wow, that's my curfew, I better get home." he quipped to the mugger he'd just interrupted "Hate to leave it like this but it really is past my bedtime."

Throwing jokes about his youth always put the bad guys on the back foot, it robbed them of their material. It also gave him the precious few seconds of confusion that he needed to swing himself up onto the fire escape and climb up to the roof. He wished he could have done more, but it was at least one woman who was heading home with her purse tonight thanks to him. Now he just had to worry about getting home before Clark. Ha, like that was going to happen.

He tried to figure out what he was going to do as he ran across the rooftops. If he could change quick enough after he was inevitably caught sneaking in, he could maybe claim he'd been at a party or something equally innocuous. If only he'd brought a change of clothes out with him... nothing for it, he'd have to just take his chances.

Reaching the house, he slipped in through the bedroom window as silently as he could manage, immediately shedding his costume and shoving it under the bed as quickly as possible. Now he just had to pray he'd gotten away with it.

Comments

[justlikeacircus]

"Nothing wrong with waffles for you maybe," Bruce glanced him up and down "But if he's going to start a training regime he's going to have to start on a better diet as well."

[stands_for_hope]

"I was thinking I was going to probably have to introduce some animal protein into the daily cooking," he admitted with a scratch to one ear. "Especially since he'll be building muscle."

[justlikeacircus]

"Introduce? Have you been feeding him your rabbit food this whole time?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.

[stands_for_hope]

"I don't generally cook it at home," he admitted, "though I suppliment it with other things to make sure he gets a balanced diet. He gets what he likes when we order or eat out."

He leaned back in his seat.

"But if he's going to be training with you, he'll need it. I'll have to figure out the best way to cook for the two of us..."

He looked over at Bruce.

"Or the three of us, if you can come to dinner more often."

[justlikeacircus]

"I might. Or you can come to the manor for dinner. It depends where he's doing his training."

A pair of feet appeared in the doorway, wiggling about as Dick made his way into the kitchen walking on his hands. Bruce turned to raise an eyebrow at Clark.

"Does he do that often?"

[stands_for_hope]

Clark nodded, smiling more than a little as he watched Dick move nimbly on his hands.

"Of course," and he glanced over at Bruce with a raised eyebrow in return, "I don't see why he shouldn't. It seems about as natural as the other way around for him. And there's no harm done."

Then he leaned back.

"And of course I'll come to dinner. Alfred's an amazing cook, after all. And I certainly don't mind your company. Dick misses you when you're busy."

[justlikeacircus]

Bruce muttered something that may or may not have been the words 'strange child', but really, he was one to talk. He looked awkward about the news that Dick missed him when he wasn't there, but he didn't have chance to reply as Dick reached them, flipping himself easily back on to his feet - the headrush making him waver slightly for a moment - before he grinned broadly at them both.

"We ready to go?"

[stands_for_hope]

Clark glanced at Bruce. Did he have anything he wanted to do or say before they headed out?

[justlikeacircus]

Bruce nodded slightly, moving towards the door, Dick bouncing after him impatiently.

"Alright, let's get this over with," he said dryly. Dick just laughed.

[stands_for_hope]

Clark couldn't help grinning at the both of them, walking over to pull Dick's jacket down from the hook and hold it out for him.

"Ignore him. He's grinning on the inside."

[justlikeacircus]

"I bet he's just smiling when I'm not looking, like he does to you all the time," Dick said confidently, all innocence as he tugged his jacket on. Bruce scowls.

[stands_for_hope]

Clark blinked and glanced over at Bruce in surprise... for a second. Then he grinned knowingly at Bruce and put his arm around Dick's shoulder to lead him out.

[justlikeacircus]

Bruce studiously avoided looking at Clark and just ushered the two of them out. Dick bounced out the door cheerfully, oblivious to the daggers Bruce was only just not staring into his back.

[stands_for_hope]

Clark nudged him with a shake of his head.

"Don't glare at him for being observant. Especially if you're going to be training him to be observant."

[justlikeacircus]

Bruce just glared at Clark in response for the audacity to be right.

Dick glanced up at the two of them apparently still not aware of their little conversation "how are we getting there?"

[stands_for_hope]

Clark looked back at Bruce, the glare rolling off his back like water off a duck.

"Well, I'm sure Bruce brought a car. But if he didn't, there's always the Honda."

Clark's car, which was rather old and a little dodgy when it came to starting up, but entirely safe.

"I don't fly with these on, Dick." And he tapped his temple.

[justlikeacircus]

"I brought a car," Bruce said bluntly, glaring at the honda and steering them both firmly towards his much more expensive and much flashier car. Dick was delighted, he was always delighted to ride in one of Bruce's fancy cars, and he flipped up onto his hands again to walk his way over to it. This was going to be the best day ever.

------------

Dick's ears were ringing, it was strange that it was his ears he was so focused on, but a gun fired at practically point blank range is apparently a little loud, and it's really strange for the world to suddenly be slightly muffled. Maybe it wasn't the noise, really, maybe it was the blood loss, because he had a hole on his leg that was bleeding out pretty bad. Speaking of pretty bad, it hurt. A lot. Worse than anything had ever hurt in his life. How hadn't he noticed that before?

Somewhere above him, Batman was already taking out the last of the gangsters, the one who'd fired his gun in surprise, the gun that had shot a hole right through Dick's leg. He was calling for backup and then seconds later he was there, crouching down and pressing his hands against the wound, telling Dick firmly to stay awake and stay with him, and that Clark would be here soon.

[stands_for_hope]

Clark was on patrol in Metropolis, but when he heard the change in Dick's heartrate, the jump in Bruce's, he hadn't even thought. He'd just started moving. That was why he was there a second after Batman said those words, looking down through Batman's hand at the wound and Dick's leg.

"I'm going to have to cauterize it somewhat, the worst of it," he said quietly.