dollymixtures | Oh, oh, oh it's magic (Xie and Kevin)

xie_er posting in

Zhao Jing used to be a nobody, born into influence and wealth but always in the shadow of those around him. In magical circles he was even worse, a barely-remembered witch that didn't have enough power for any familiar to even consider looking twice at him.

Somehow, though, after many years (and a few suspicious deaths), he's managed to climb his way to the CEO of Five Lakes, his power - of both kinds - growing exponentially.

The previous CEO was surrounded by some unfortunate rumorus before his death, so Zhao Jing has been focused on repairing the reputation of he company and solidifying his support, mundane and magical, which means it is far too delicate a moment for Xie to be in the spotlight, even if he was promised he'd be allowed to stop hiding when the position was in Zhao Jing's hands.

He just has to wait a little longer, that's all, and it's not like it's difficult to only appear in his animal form whenever Zhao Jing is in public, just uncomfortable, and the last thing they need is for somebody to recognise Xie for any of the things he's done to help his witch get where he is today, when his position is still so precarious...

He tells himself all the excuses he's heard from Yifu, repeats them in his head like a mantra as he sits through all the meetings and negotiations, a little black cat and Zhao Jing's feet, watching the men and women he's speaking to for anything Yifu can use. He hangs around when Zhao Jing steps out the room, listens to what they say behind his back - that's his job with normal people, to be a pair of ears they don't realise are there. Even paranoid types who scan for bugs would miss him, which he finds funny, privately, because he is a bug of a sort.

Not that he's allowed to take his original animal form - a scorpion would be out of place if anybody caught sight of him, and Yifu doesn't like the idea of him hiding in pockets or anything like that. He says it's dangerous, that something could happen to him, but Xie privately thinks he just finds the form creepy. Even around other magical people, the cat is preferred - his job with them is to be a reminder that Zhao Jing has a familiar, and a relatively powerful one at that.

It's hard for familiars to change the form they can take, but he did it, for Yifu.

He tells people the cat is called Scorpion, and that somebody else named him - which is technically true, Xie does mean scorpion, and his parents named him - and that he's vaguely embarrassed to have such a fiercely named cat.

(He doesn't tell magical people anything at all, they know Xie isn't a pet so they're less likely to ask, at most they will wonder why his familiar always stays in animal form. Zhao Jing just tells them he's shy. He isn't, he doesn't care about people seeing him, but it's easier to do the things Yifu wants him to do when nobody knows what he looks like)

Xie hadn't always known he was powerful - when Yifu had taken him in he'd been told he wasn't much, but that maybe he could be useful. Later, when some witch had made an offhand comment about it, the story had become that Yifu recognised his power and took him in before anybody else could steal him away, that he just wanted to protect Xie from the people who would use him for his power. Xie was already so far gone by that point that he accepted it, that he told himself he was lucky he had Yifu to protect him, to guide him.

It's funny how easy it is to lie to yourself.

When the meetings are over for the day he finally shifts back to human form, spending a few minutes stretching out the kinks that come from forcing himself into a form that isn't quite his, especially with how much he's had to do it over the last few weeks, and then going in search of something to eat. He could probably just head back to his own apartment since he doesn't think Yifu needs anything else from him, not today, but the outsiders have all left and everybody in Yifu's manor at least knows Xie, even if they don't know that Xie and Scorpion are one and the same, so it's safe to be around them.

He likes to spend as much time here as he can get away with, likes to remind Yifu he can be useful in other ways... and maybe he likes to keep an eye on this new apprentice Yifu has taken on. He doesn't understand why he needs anybody else when he has Xie, but the last time he'd questioned somebody new in the house Yifu hadn't spoken to him for a week, so he doesn't voice that thought out loud - he just watches the guy suspiciously every chance he gets, and wonders how easy he would be to get rid of.

He's halfway to the kitchen when something makes him stop. A tug of power, the vague echo of chanting, there's a ritual happening and something about it is drawing him close. He frowns, confused, and follows the pull...

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

xie_er

"Mm, that sounds like a good idea" He agrees. It'll be nice, he thinks, to feel a little more connected with the outside world again - and make it easier to deal with his lawyers.

Even though a part of him also sort of likes their little bubble.

From:

weird_cop

On that subject; coincidently, rather than telepathically:

"You should probably phone your lawyers today. If nothing else you may have a breach of privacy case."

Or the lawyers will have to apologise profusely.

From:

xie_er

Oh, yea. That.

It almost makes him angry again, but it's not quite as raw as it was yesterday so he can think slightly clearer about it. There's a limited number of people who knew quite so many details...

"Did the lawyers have a copy of the statement I made to Lofthouse?"

Maybe they are getting fired after all.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin's few seconds of silence speaks volumes as he holds Xie tighter.

"They would have made you sign something on the first day that gave them access to everything."

From:

xie_er

"I'm going to fucking kill them. I told them not to get creative"

He's awake now, and he's angry, and he really wishes he could just go back to the sleepy warmth of enjoying the morning.

Fucking lawyers.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin regrets and is apologetic for waking Xie up so poorly. As long as he doesn't move, Kevin keeps holding him.

"You're right to be angry," he says first, sincerely. "But they obviously think this will keep you out of prison."

From:

xie_er

Xie rolls his eyes, but it's not at Kevin and he doesn't pull away, in fact he moves in even closer, tucking his head against Kevin's chest.

"That stupid diminished responsibility thing Costain brought up? They can still use that argument without telling the whole country first" He grumbles

From:

weird_cop

"They're playing the jury before there even is a jury," Kevin says. "Cops frigging hate it but no one asks us."

From:

xie_er

"Well I hate it too. I don't want people pitying me or acting like my choices aren't my own. I know it'll help in court but I don't have to like it."

Or agree with it. He doesn't feel like a victim, he just trusted the wrong person, and all this talk of Yifu being this terrible monster just makes him feel stupid.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin nods, tilting his head down afterwards to kiss Xie on the top of his head, as far as he can without dislodging that head from his chest.

"I know."

He knows exactly how much Xie hates that kind of thought.

Which makes him realise... does Xie think Kevin thinks that? Does he think this is... pity sex, rather than the complicated moral mess it actually is?

"You know we... I don't think that, right? None of us, despite what Tone said. But more importantly, me. I don't think you were an innocent victim this whole time?"

Maybe it's too early in the morning for opening this particular can of morality worms, but Kevin suddenly thinks it needs to be said.

From:

xie_er

The kiss doesn't dislodge him, but the words do, as Xie lifts his head and leans back just a little so he can actually look at Kevin.

"Sometimes I worried about it," he admits, thinking about his misunderstanding on the whole 'consenting to using his power' issue "but you've never seemed like you pitied me, and you never... you never seemed like you thought I was just... helpless. Completely in his sway."

He's silent for a moment, thinking about it a little more, trying to put into words how he feels - which is hard, because he's really not used to it.

"It means a lot to me that you don't think that. That you... I'm not a good person, Kevin. I've done a lot of bad things and I did those things. I wouldn't want to be with someone who had convinced themselves that all of that was somebody else's fault and that I'm not who I am."

Maybe he can be a better person, or at least a less murderous one, but that kind of change has to come with acceptance of who he already is, not an assertion that 'who he is' isn't really him.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin offers him a smile, attempting to reassure Xie that whatever else he thought about him, he never thought that Xie wasn't a person who made person choices.

"Do you regret them?"

An honest question, and an important one, even though it hasnt actually been asked yet.

"I mean... do you want to be a person who makes different choices? I've assumed an answer but I want to hear it."

From:

xie_er

Xie considers this for a long moment - mostly because he knows his answer might cause problems, but he also knows that Kevin deserves honesty.

"No, I don't think I do. I could say that almost all of them were terrible people, and they were, but truthfully, mostly they were just a job."

The second part is easier, though, and he's quick to continue.

"It's a job I don't mind leaving behind, though. A job I'd like to leave behind. So, yes, I want to be a person who makes different choices."

From:

weird_cop

That's not a great answer, morally speaking. But it's honest. And Kevin does deserve honesty, just as Xie does.

"So we're clear. I think you should pay for your crimes; I'm just not the person who decides what that payment looks like.

"And I'm not going anywhere. I want to be your witch while that's happening and I want to be at your side while you make different choices. You chose me, for a start."

From:

xie_er

Xie nods - he's not surprised, Kevin is a cop after all, and he doesn't really object, either. He has done a lot of bad things and he got caught, of course he's going to have some kind of punishment.

Personally, though, he thinks jail is a stupid punishment (for him) - it won't make him regret what he's done, it won't make any difference to his likelihood of doing it again, and it won't help anybody. Some kind of community service, on the other hand, is a bit more of a karmic balance. He's not going to try and claim that it will really undo anything he's already done, but it's better than not trying to make up for it at all.

"I'll accept whatever payment I have to give," he says softly - even if he does end up in jail, as long as he still has the bond with Kevin, he'll put up with it.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin puts his hands to the back of Xie's head, pulling him up for a kiss.

He would agree - the best way for Xie going forward is just to make right choices, which is only possible if you have choices.

"I'll be there when you do."

He places his hands on Xie's chest, ready to push him off so Kevin can get up, but pauses.

"And... also, to be clear. You were also a victim. That doesn't mean you're not responsible for your actions, but the two things can be true at once. He deserved to die, for what he did to you alone."

From:

xie_er

Xie pulls a face, because he still really doesn't like that thought.

"He did deserve to die." He can agree with that much, at least, it's just still a struggle to term everything that happened between him and Xie as abusive rather than just shitty.

Maybe there's still some residual loyalty that's making it hard, or maybe he really just doesn't want to think of himself as a victim at all. Either way, he doesn't like it.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin kisses him again, right in that face.

"And with that established, do you want eggy bread for breakfast?"

From:

xie_er

Xie pouts, but it's mostly for show - the kiss and the offer have effectively soothed his irritation.

"Obviously I do." he retorts, leaning in for another kiss to confirm that he really isn't still mad.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin pulls himself reluctantly out of bed, dresses for work in jeans and a shirt, and retrieves his warrant card from the dresser, along with the locket he took off last night before the shower. One goes in his back pocket, the other around his neck.

"I'll tell you when it's ready."

From:

xie_er

Xie's eyes trace over the locket again curiously, but he nods.

Since Kevin is going in to work, he knows that the others won't be coming here this morning, so when he finally does decide to get out of bed - after a little more time just lazing, but before breakfast is ready - he just throws on some jeans and a t-shirt and heads downstairs without doing his usual braids, just leaves his hair in the same loose braid he slept in.

He gives Kevin a kiss on the cheek and goes to make the tea.

From:

weird_cop

Kevin squeezes a hand around Xie's waist as he receives the kiss, and fills the link with morning chatter about what he'll be doing at work - debriefing yesterday mostly and making plans to figure out more about those idiots found out what they knew.

"You might need to give a statement," he adds. "I'll let you know if you do."

From:

xie_er

Xie listens, occasionally making noises of acknowledgement or nodding along, and steals another kiss when he sets Kevin's cup on the counter next to him.

He settles at the table with his own cup and nods with a faint sigh.

"I'm getting very bored with giving statements"