It's all coming back to me now (Spot and Bucky)

[brooklynishere]

When the Hydra facility had been raided, the last thing anybody expected to find was a 16 year old kid on ice, and yet there he'd been. Steve had been the one to stop the Hydra scientist from shutting down the life support, but they hadn't got there in time to prevent the destruction of a good half the facility's records - including the ones about who the kid was or why he was there.

So what choice did they have but to wake him up and find out?

He was uncooperative at first, refused to give them any details other than the name 'Spot' and kept threatening to fight anybody that came close, though they managed to work out pretty easily that he was from Brooklyn and he'd been on the ice almost as long as Steve had. It's when he overhears a comment about Bucky that he seems to change his tune.

"Bucky Barnes?" he asks, and while he still seems wary, for the first time since he woke up he says something actually helpful "I'll talk to him. Tell him the name's Sean Conlon."

Comments

[brooklynishere]

Spot's eyes widen to hear that Bucky wrote to him, he dimly remembers some letters from when he was younger, but he guesses his mom must have kept most of them until he was old enough to read them - and then he'd disappeared. He can't wait to get his hands on the box and go through it, but it's the mention of photos that catches his attention.

He reaches out with a shaking hand to take the photo she's pulled out, staring down at it. He nods vaguely at Bucky's comment about frames. He agrees. He wants to frame all of them, cover his walls with pictures.

"Thank you.." he says quietly, tucking the photo carefully back into the box. Then rummaging in his bag to pull out his new camera.

"We can get some new ones, too..."

[not_a_commie]

Molly smiles at the camera, "That is a wonderful idea," she nods yanking on Bucky's metal arm to try and drag him closer. The assassin rolls his eyes and slides his chair closer giving that smile that very few people outside his inner circle see, as Molly adjusts her ridiculously large brightly colored jewelry, and glasses.

She looks at Bucky, "Did you pick back up your camera yet, now that your back?" She asks to befoe Spot can take the photo. "No," he shrugs "Haven't had time or been in the mood lately." He shrugs looking back to Spot and smiling again.

Molly looks at Sean, "Sean, get on his case about it." She smirks. "He took a lot of those, the ones before he shipped out." She smirks and Bucky huffs.

[brooklynishere]

Spot snaps a few pictures of them, both when they're actually posing and when they aren't, occasionally glancing at the little screen and fiddling with some of the settings in between, playing around to find things he's happy with.

He looks up in surprise at the conversation. He's seen some of Bucky's pictures, the ones he showed him the night he'd been upset about Race, but he never realised it was such a big deal for him, at least not the way his mom was making it out to be.

He clutches his own camera a little tighter, feeling a sort of connection that he hadn't even realised was there.

"I didn't realise you liked photography, too..."

[not_a_commie]

"It was a different life." He says honestly, "It was my plan before, before everything." He laughs a little shaking his head.

"Steve's been on him about it too." Molly says ratting Bucky out totally, "Got him a lovely film camera for his birthday." She says giving Bucky a side-eye far to much like Steve does when the man is being too hard on himself, about enjoying things.

"Trying to stir stuff up?" Bucky laughs rubbing the back of his neck.

"Always." Molly smiles.

"Here let me get a picture of you two." He says holding a metal hand out for the camera.

[brooklynishere]

Spot's already kind of wondering how they could share this, if they could maybe go out to take pictures together, around Brooklyn or something, though he's uncertain about saying it out loud just now.

He hands over the camera though, shifting closer to his mom.

[not_a_commie]

Bucky gets a few shots, one of which Molly is holding bunny ears up behind Spot's head. The rest of the lunch is pretty, nice he understands Spot's moods he really does, and the kid has gotten a lot better since early July.

Molly gives Spot her number and address and tells him he can come over whenever he wants as long as she or Annie is home, or about to be home. She'll get him a copy of the key.

They start the walk back to the car. "You okay?"

[brooklynishere]

Spot hugs his mom goodbye at the end of the lunch and walks back to the car carrying the box of letters and photos like it's something precious - which it is, to him.

"I guess." he says quietly, clearly pensive "Just... a lot to think about. I guess it was... heavier than I was expecting."

[not_a_commie]

"Of course it's heavy." Bucky says, and he's being serious, "It's weird, you're between to times right now, your gonna feel off-kilter sometimes, and that's okay." He says letting out a slow breath, "I remember before the trial when everyone who was left came to see me in jail before Matt got me bail." He pauses, "Then going out for drinks after, I kept having flashbacks to this bar in Germany..." He scrubs a hand down his face. "It gets easier and better." He's being truthful about that, just gotta work on enjoying the memory of your life, and find a groove for your new life.

He looks at his phone it's only 2, "You wanna go mess with your camera at the zoo?" he asks, maybe give the kid a chance to think and have fun. "Bit of a walk across the park, but it's a nice day for September." He laughs.

[brooklynishere]

Spot appreciates when Bucky shares things like that, it makes him feel a little less alone for being so lost about all of this. It's so strange, that weird longing for the life you used to have, knowing that you'll never get it back, that there are people and things that are lost forever. He supposes it's the same for a lot of people, just maybe not to the same extent, there'll always be things in the past that are lost.

He breathes out a sigh and nods. A good distraction sounds like an excellent idea right now.

"Yea," he agrees "Yea I think I do."

[not_a_commie]

They walk to the zoo through the park, Bucky is quiet letting Spot think while they do. It's the last serge of summer, perfect weather, not ungodly hot like it is in July and August, but that late September weather where you can feel mother nature waiting to snap her fingers, making the leaves fall from the tree and the chill to come into the air.

Bucky pays their way into the zoo, and it's a little busy, but not crowded enough for Spot not to be able to use his camera, given Bucky's past he has mixed feelings on zoos, he'd rather go to a reserve but hey they live in New York City.

"What do you want to look at first?" He asks while putting his wallet away, though he's eyeing the cotton candy, with his eternal sweet tooth.

[brooklynishere]

"Can we go see the big cats?" Spot asks, glancing up at Bucky - and then following his gaze to the cotton candy.

"Man I haven't had that in... like 75 years" he comments casually, smirking slightly at his own joke. The stuff was pure sugar (literally) and Spot loved it.

Plus he's got a lot on his mind right now and he's pretty sure he deserves a treat.

[not_a_commie]

"Yeah, we can." He nods, he looks to where Spot's eyes are, and they are looking just where his were a second ago and laughs. "Come on." He laughs and he buys two bags of cotton candy, and hands one to Spot. "On to the big cats." He laughs opening his bag and tearing a piece off.

The zoo has changed a lot since the last time he was here, better in a lot of ways the same in others.

[brooklynishere]

Spot wonders how quickly that joke will get old, and how many things he can talk Bucky into buying him before it does, but mostly he's just pleased to get the cotton candy.

It does mean he can't take many photos at first, not wanting to get sticky fingers all over his new camera, but he can live with that for the sake of sweet, sugary goodness. Eventually he's finished, though, and can clean off his hands and get to work taking pictures.

[not_a_commie]

Bucky smiles watching the kid eat and take photos, they take their time walking through the zoo, they lose track of time, and it's nice. He takes a couple of selfies with Spot and sends them to Steve. He's not on an opp, just meetings in DC.

The Zoo will be closing in 25 minutes.

"Guess we lost track of time," Bucky laughs, "You hungry again?" He asks shoving his hands into his pockets.

[brooklynishere]

It ends up being one of the nicest afternoons he's had in a long time, for all that he woke up that morning dreading the day. Even taking into account the early morning anti-smoking lecture (such as it was) and lunch with his mom, which wasn't so bad in the end, he'd probably say it was one of the nicest days he's had in a while.

"Yea, food sounds good," he agrees, finally putting his camera away.

[not_a_commie]

They get pizza and it's nice it seems like Spot is rebalancing after the lunch they had. Steve gets back from his meetings in D.C. and it's nice for a while. Bucky gets called out on a mission deep in the Czech Republic, then tailing the subject with Barton all the way to London.

The catch the trafficker, but things go a little sideways before they do, Clint's leg broken in three places, Bucky's metal arm in need of repairs.

He gets back though and the guy is shuttled off to the RAFT. He's told it's going to take a few weeks to get all the repairs and a few upgrades done. It's happened before and there are worse things than having one arm.

He's sitting at home texting with Shuri about the state of his arm, she says it'll be ready in a few days. That's when he gets a call that Spot didn't show up for his second class.

Bucky tilts his head back against the couch and lets out a disgruntled sound, he looks at the time and rolls to his feet and heads to the school, says he'll get a hold of Spot and talk to him over the weekend. He waits outside to see if Spot comes back because he was supposed to pick the kid up today, to go get pizza for movie night.

[brooklynishere]

Spot's learned to stay out of people's way whenever Bucky's on a mission, it makes him tense and worried and snippier than usual and it's easier if he just keeps to himself, so he's always straight home from school and spending his evenings holed up in his room messing about with photo editing and trying really, really hard not to smoke.

And then Bucky gets back and everything goes back to being okay - only this time it wasn't okay because Bucky's arm was broken and his dad might be just fine with that but Spot sure fucking isn't.

Which is maybe why he does what he does. Because he's flicking aimlessly through TV channels one evening when he stops on a debate, and some curly-haired old guy is laying into this anti-vaxxer about the MMR vaccine and it's beautiful to watch.

And there's something familiar about the guy, something in the accent and the look in his eye and the crutch leaning casually against the chair... and then he says something about surviving polio and growing up practically on the streets of Manhattan and shit that's crutchie

So when the presenter explains that Dr Charlie Morris is a lecturer at NYU, Spot just has to go and see him.

Which is why he cuts school the very next day and heads over, arriving just as his lecture is finishing. Being the little shit that he is, all he says in greeting as he wanders in is "Hey Crutchie." A couple of the students on their way out of the lecture are outraged and call him out for saying such a thing, and dear old beloved Dr Morris has to jump in and explain that it's a very old nickname from a different time and- and this kid must have picked it up from a relative because he looks just like the famous Spot Conlon, who Crutchie hasn't seen since he was..oh...

"About sixteen?" Spot smirks and that's, somehow, all it takes. Crutchie promises the students that everything's fine and they leave and then it's just Spot and Crutchie catching up, Spot fills him in on what he's been doing for the past 75 years (it doesn't take long) and Crutchie returns the favour (it takes much longer).

Eventually Spot knows he has to get back to school since Bucky's picking him up, and he promises to stop by again when he can.

It's weirdly wholesome and upbeat, which is Crutchie all over, and he's in a much better mood when he slips back into school.

A mood that drops immediately on seeing his father waiting there.

[not_a_commie]

Bucky had all kinds of thoughts going through his head, even though Sean probably just skipped a couple of classes, in the back of his mind is the what if one of their enemies snatched him up. The worry melts there's not even anger as he sees the kid approach.

"Sean." He says walking down the stairs, toward the car, "Come on, I already signed you out we gotta get home and figure out what we want for movie night." He says handing Sean the weekend homework from the classes he cut.

Once they are in the car he looks at Sean, "You wanna cut school every once in a while to goof off with your friends? Fine. But Sean, you're not like them, you gotta let us know, I know weird but... Steve and I have enemies. you're my kid, you survived cryo, I was one of the few who survived what the red room did to me..." He scrubs a hand down his face. "Stupid but what if someone grabbed you." He huffs, "Stupid to worry about that." He looks at Spot, "You can do normal teenage bullshit all you want, but uh just gotta give us a heads up."

[brooklynishere]

Bucky uses his real name, which could mean something or could mean nothing, and he hands him his homework and.. that... seems to be about it... he doesn't even seem mad, and Spot might suspect he's gotten away with it somehow but Bucky had his homework so he knows that's not the case.

So he trails after Bucky to the car and tries to figure out what the actual fuck.

When they're sat in the car and Bucky starts talking, it hits Spot like a tonne of bricks. Oh.

"Shit." He says after a very long moment "I...I'm sorry, dad."

Given that he's spent the last however long solidly worrying about Bucky, he feels like shit to have turned the tables on him like that without even realising it.

"I...I found someone. From back then, I... went to go see them..." he admits, wanting his father to at least understand why he did it. It doesn't make him feel any better.

[not_a_commie]

"Don't have to be sorry," Bucky says, happy the car is an automatic so he can drive one-handed. He starts it and gets his one hand on the wheel. He looks at Sean, and arches a brow. "You couldn't just tell me?" He asks letting out a slow breath, "You really think I'd have said no?" He says starting to drive. "Look I'm serious, I want you to do all the normal teenage crap." He says honestly giving Sean a smile. "But you just can't take off like that, I know it's weird... but talk to Peter about what can happen when, where you have a life like this, and you go sneaking off."

[brooklynishere]

"I am though," he says, gaze flicking to Bucky's arm, or lack thereof "You got enough to deal with right now without worrying about me..."

The reminder that he could have just asked only makes him feel worse, he just didn't think about that, he had so much in his head he wanted to get away from it for a bit, and Crutchie... well it seemed like a nice, singular thing to focus on. And a taster for what it might be like if he found any of the others. If he found Race. Crutchie had mentioned them once or twice, when they features in his stories, but he hadn't mentioned what happened to them and Spot hadn't asked.

"I should have asked, I just... didn't think."

[not_a_commie]

Bucky smiles at that, "You're 15, thinking isn't always what you're going to do." He says laughing a little. "Look you're not in trouble just try and think, and ask." He chuckles a little shaking his head.

They drive in silence for a moment, "How'd it go then?" He asks stopping at a red light, "and what should we get for movie night?"

[brooklynishere]

"It went... really well." Spot admits "Crutchie was one of the Manhattan guys, one of Jack's boys, he's.. he's done really well for himself. He's a doctor and he did loads of work on vaccines and stuff and now he teaches. I'm glad. He was just.. a really nice kid, really sweet, he deserves to have had a good life."

It was weirdly just what he needed. There hadn't been any regrets with Crutchie, no sadness for a life missed out on, because they'd never been that close, so he could just be happy for the guy and the life he'd lived.

[not_a_commie]

"When you're ready I can look for some of the others." He says easily. "What should we get for movie night?" He asks, "You wanna pick something up, or should we go to the grocery store and try to cook something fun? Steve's night to pick the movie, so it'll be something off the oh we missed this list." He laughs a little.

[brooklynishere]

Spot takes a deep breath. He wasn't sure when this moment would come but after seeing his mother and Crutchie he thinks he's ready.

"I think....I think actually I'd like that." he admits

"Cooking something sounds cool." he adds, because actually after the worry of Bucky being away and coming back with his arm broken, and then the guilt of worrying him on top of that, some proper family time actually sounds like a good idea.

He'd never admit it out loud, but he also loved the 'oh we missed this' list, it's like a weird bond between the three of them.