It's all coming back to me now (Spot and Bucky)

[brooklynishere]

When the Hydra facility had been raided, the last thing anybody expected to find was a 16 year old kid on ice, and yet there he'd been. Steve had been the one to stop the Hydra scientist from shutting down the life support, but they hadn't got there in time to prevent the destruction of a good half the facility's records - including the ones about who the kid was or why he was there.

So what choice did they have but to wake him up and find out?

He was uncooperative at first, refused to give them any details other than the name 'Spot' and kept threatening to fight anybody that came close, though they managed to work out pretty easily that he was from Brooklyn and he'd been on the ice almost as long as Steve had. It's when he overhears a comment about Bucky that he seems to change his tune.

"Bucky Barnes?" he asks, and while he still seems wary, for the first time since he woke up he says something actually helpful "I'll talk to him. Tell him the name's Sean Conlon."

Comments

[brooklynishere]

"Yea," Spot nods vaguely. The salesperson he spoke to was actually super helpful, they explained a lot of things that Spot hadn't been able to figure out from his own research, and helped him understand what he was looking for. Now he's narrowed it down to two that will both pretty much do the job, he just can't decide between their fairly similar specs.

"I just can't pick between these two."

[not_a_commie]

Bucky looks at the and the specs, he picks up the canon after looking at the information. "This one will take great pictures during the day, but has better low light and nighttime speeds than the other one." He says, "We have plenty of time before lunch too, so whichever one you get if the batteries charged out of the box, we can go use it for a bit, " He says handing it to Spot.

"Should take photography as your next elective at school, since you're almost caught up, on the academic stuff." He bumps Spot's shoulder a little.

[brooklynishere]

"Yea that's a good point," Spot agrees, thinking of the views across the Brooklyn bridge in the evening and how much he'd like to capture them. "Okay, this one."

Getting some practice with the camera before lunch sounds perfect, and he readily agrees to it - it'll keep him occupied until then, if his mind is on the photos he can't worry about lunch.

"Yea.. yea I think I will." he nods, the idea of studying photography at school is kind of wild compared to what he's used to, but there were so many subjects he could take now that he never would have been able to before.

[not_a_commie]

Bucky gets Sean a memory card, and a case, if he sticks with it, he'll get the kid another lens for Christmas or some shit.

It takes them a bit but they find parking near the restaurant, and head into Central Park to walk around and let Sean test his camera for a bit.

"We've got about an hour." He says as they walk.

[brooklynishere]

Spot happily distracts himself for an hour, playing with the settings on the camera, taking shots of scenery and more experimental things, close up shots of flowers, pictures of Bucky, generally just messing around testing things out. He gets a few pictures he likes the look of, but mostly he's just learning his way around the camera and what works.

It's nearly time for lunch but he hasn't even noticed, busy trying to get a shot of a squirrel that's paused on a bench.

[not_a_commie]

It's fun watching Sean right now, and he rolls his eyes at the photos Spot keeps taking of him. He lets Spot have a few tries at getting some shots of the squirrels.

"Alright we have to head over to the lunch place," Bucky says looking at his phone. "You ready?"

[brooklynishere]

Spot's even more glad of the camera then, it gives him something to fiddle with, something to look at for a moment while he settled his nerves.

"Yea, I'm ready, let's go." he says after a moment.

[not_a_commie]

It's not that long of a walk, about 15 minutes, it's not upscale, but it's way nicer than the places Bucky and Steve eat, it looks like a little brunch place.

There is an older woman, she looks younger than her age, big round glasses and brightly colored clothes, some would call mismatched, and others would call extremely fashionable. She's waiting by the door when she sees Bucky, giving him a warm and loving look.

Her eyes fall onto Spot and she sucks in a breath and smiles coming right over and pulling the boy into a hug. "You little shit, you were supposed to be home 75 years ago." She jokes trying to lighten the mood, but there is a rawness to her voice.

[brooklynishere]

Spot feels his nerves grow as they get closer, his steps faltering when he spots the woman standing at the door. She's so much older, dressed so differently to how he remembers, but he recognises her instantly - how could he not.

"Hey, ma..." he chokes out just before he's pulled into a hug. For a second he's shocked, uncertain, but then he hugs her back tightly, unable to say anything else.

[not_a_commie]

She messes his hair, a little, and presses a kiss to the top of his head. "I looked for you." Is all she says taking his face in her hands and looking at him. "I'm sorry, I didn't find you, and I'm sorry you ended looking so much like Bucky, my condolences." He smirks.

"You're still a jerk you know that." He says grinning as she comes to hug bucky. "And you're still an idiot." She laughs.

"Come on food." she takes them both by the wrist she has the spryness and attitude of someone much younger. "My treat, you can tell me about school, and this Peter Parker, boy."

[brooklynishere]

He laughs weakly at the comment about looking like Bucky.

"Ma I look just like I looked the last time you saw me," well maybe his hair and his clothes were a little different and he was a few months older, but that was about it - only that was seventy five years ago for her, and barely a couple of months for him.

He lets himself be pulled into the restaurant, though his widened at mention of Peter and his head whipped round to glare at Bucky.

"Dad you told her about Peter!?"

[not_a_commie]

"Of course I did." He says with a shit-eating grin, "She is your mother." He laughs, as they are taken to a table quickly. "Parents need to keep each other informed..."

"No matter how odd the situation is." Molly laughs as they sit down.

"What are you talking about we're perfectly normal," Bucky says lips twitching.

[brooklynishere]

"Yea..." Spot says quietly, letting the joking wash over him as they sit down. She is his mother, and Bucky's been talking to her, telling her all about what he's been getting up to.

But not telling him about her.

It was probably his mother's idea not to say anything, he suspects, she liked not telling him things.

"How's Annie?"

[not_a_commie]

"She's good, she's at home, enjoying a day off." She smiles reaching out and putting her hand on Spot's, "This is her place." She says looking around, "She worked really hard." She pulls her hand back and gives Spot an apologetic "look, I should have talked to you sooner, I know, but I thought you needed time to adjust." She shakes her head.

"So go ahead, ask us anything you want." She says looking a Bucky.

"Yep kid, anything." He nods as someone brings the drinks to the table and leaves menus for them to look over.

[brooklynishere]

"It's fine." Spot says shortly "What's the point. You'll decide when I need to know something, or maybe you won't, whatever, it's not up to me."

He scowls down at his menu, trying to sort through the feelings bubbling up inside of him. He's glad his mother is alive, and okay, and happy, he really is, but there's a lot of conflict - she's so much older now, it's almost scary, and Spot likes being scared about as much as he likes being worried, and that always ends in anger. She's still, to his mind, trying to control how much he knows about everything, not letting him make his own decisions, treating him like a little kid. He knows what it must be like for her, to see him again after all this time, but he can't stop himself being like this.

[not_a_commie]

Bucky frowns a little but doesn't say anything the kid is angry he gets it he'd be pissed too, he was angry a lot when he first woke up, he had so many holes in his memory, along with a lot of other complicated feelings.

But lets the silence drag on it's something he's good at, it helps him do his job well. Letting Spot cool down a little. Molly seems to understand what Bucky is doing, but she breaks the silence first.

"Sean. How would you have felt back in July when you woke up seeing me like this?" She asks honestly. "Have Bucky or Steve ever lied to you? Did I ever lie to you?" She adds, her voice is kind and soft, "When we said you could ask us whatever you want we meant it."

"We did, and it's okay you're angry, we didn't know how to handle it, kind of just winged it when Steve and I came out of the ice, but we learned from that, and didn't want to push you so fast," Bucky says scrubbing a metal hand down his face.

"He's right," Molly nods, "And you can come see me whenever you want, call me whenever you want."

[brooklynishere]

"Ma, you ain't getting it, you never did." Spot says angrily, fighting to keep his voice down. He doesn't want to make a scene. "It's not about lying, it's... you don't tell me things. You just decide that I don't need to know or I can't handle it or I... I don't know what, but you decide. You can't just let me make my own decision about this stuff."

He's not just talking about her still being alive, though that's the biggest thing that's bothering him at the moment, she'd always been less open with him, including about her relationship with Annie, about a hundred little things. Mother knew best, always. Spot knew she was right, sometimes, but not every time, and even when she was right it always stung to think she didn't trust him.

[not_a_commie]

"You were 15 you're still 15." She points out, "You were cutting school, getting in trouble, if I told you anything or audited anything, and you let it slip on accident because I know you never would, they would take you away from me, they would put you in a home. You got damn close to that running around like you did." She says looking hurt. "And you never asked you just did, you just assumed, you just left whenever you wanted too." She frowns.

"Was I perfect no, but was your life safe, was Annie's life safe, if we were 100% honest, about everything back then? No, and it was horrible, we loved we still love you."

Bucky takes a breath he's gotta let them have it out.

"I didn't want you in a home, and I didn't want to be in an insane asylum, everything else I was honest with you about." She shakes her head.

[brooklynishere]

"I get it, ma, I do, you think I wasn't fuckin' terrified when I realised I was gay?" it's a rhetorical question, he knows both his parents understand that fear well enough "I wanted to talk to you... I needed somebody... but I couldn't, I couldn't say anything because you never said anything. I figured it out, of course I did, but you never said an' I thought... well what if I'm wrong, what if I'm wrong and she..." he trails off.

"I know I didn't make it easy..." he admits, staring down at his menu "but you never trusted me and it hurt."

[not_a_commie]

"I did and do trust you." She said, "But I had to be the adult, I had to protect our family." She says voice apologetic and soft. "I was there, maybe I should have been there more, but you didn't talk to me you just kept running off, never told me where you were going, when you'd be back." She adjusts her glasses, "I had to convince the cops you didn't just run away, because of how many times you had taken off before." She sighs, "I trusted you, you just never came to me, too busy being angry at the world." she pauses, "But what 15-year-old isn't angry at the world." She gives a soft smile. "It's a two-way street though."

Bucky sighs, "Look the way I look at it is things have fucking changed a lot, some mistakes were made, but that can be worked out. You found her again. Think about how you're responding right now Spot, what would have happened a few months ago?" Bucky points out squeezing Sean's shoulder. "You're allowed to be angry, but you're punching at your mom, instead of the red room." He pauses, "Yeah you're our kid, and she raised you, did a good job too... but even kids back then had no probably outing their parents, you were both protecting yourselves... now both of you stop being assholes."

[brooklynishere]

Spot starts then, at the mention of the cops, and for a second he just kind of stares at his mom.

He still feels like his anger is justified, like she can say she trusted him all she likes but he never saw proof - and Spot has always preferred proof over words - but it's like all the wind's just been knocked out of his sails, because he's reminded what she had to go through.

He disappeared. He was taken by Hydra and he just vanished off the face of the Earth without a trace, he knows they never found out what happened to him because he's been told as much, they'd been surprised to find him in that Hydra facility.

And his mother... his mother had to deal with not knowing if Spot had just run off again and was coming home or if he was dead in a ditch somewhere. Had to convince the cops that she wasn't the boy who cried wolf. And then she had to live with that for 75 years.

Bucky's words wash over him and he looks down, quieter now.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that, ma... I'm sorry..."

[not_a_commie]

"You don't have to apologize, Sean." She says, "It's a lot." She shrugs, there is quiet over the table while they order, things rebalancing with all that was aired out. After a few minutes, Molly looks at Spot lips finally twitching. "So Peter?" She asks arching a brow.

"Hmm yes, you should tell you, mom, all about Peter," Bucky smirks.

[brooklynishere]

It feels really, really weird to talk to his mom about a boy, but he knows she's asking to try and smooth out some more of this tension and he has to give her something because he desperately wants this to be okay.

"He's just a boy I like," he says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck "We went on a date last night and.. it... didn't go as well as I woulda hoped."

[not_a_commie]

"I'm sure it went better than you think." She smiles, "Your dad and Steve didn't get their shit together until Steve stole a motorcycle and rode halfway across Germany because someone told him Bucky died... and 'Bucky wouldn't do that.'" She rolls her eyes but there is a smile there. "Took them forever."

"He does that..." Bucky rubs the back of his neck. "Look we were pretty dumb when it came to each other."

"Still are," Molly smiles as the food comes. "If you are going out with him again, then it went fine, are you going out with him again?"

[brooklynishere]

"Yea," Spot nods "We're gonna hang out and get takeout and play video games next week...." at least that was he plan they'd made last night before he fell asleep, he hadn't actually had chance to confirm that with Bucky yet.

He looks down, thinking about how his mom had been with Annie all this time, how Steve and Bucky crossed continents and time and death, practically, to be together. It wasn't fair. He knows it's nobody's fault - except Hydra's - but it still stings that they got their happy endings, their great love stories, and Spot... well okay, he's still young, and maybe Peter will be that for him, or maybe he won't, maybe his great love story is still waiting for him.

But all he can think about is losing Race.

"You and pop are still pretty dumb." he says, forcing the thoughts away.